For Everything There is a Season

"In order to write about life, first you must live it." ~ Ernest Hemingway

Category: Tales From The Dry Side (Page 3 of 3)

Traveling To Disney With Sjögren’s

September 13, 2013 / / 1 Comment

I have decided that to take blog vacation. This means that after today I will not be accessing my blog or my Facebook blog page so if you leave comments please be patient because they need to be moderated before they appear on the blog. This is a bit of a big deal for me because in the three and a half years I have been blogging, I have never taken a planned break. On the occasions where I have been away from home, I have still checked my blog via iPhone. The reason for this was simple. I have worked so hard at developing Thoughts and Ramblings and my readership that I was afraid to not be on top of things. I didn’t want to lose momentum. However a lot has gone on recently with the publishing process of my first book, Tales From The Dry Side: The Personal Stories Behind The Autoimmune Illness Sjögren’s Syndrome, the Kickstarter funding project, getting married, and dealing with new health issues. I think overall I have done a good job in keeping up with my blogging/writing as well as the numerous e-mails and other correspondence that has resulted from all of this. But it’s time. Everyone needs a vacation.

I will be off the Thoughts and Ramblings grid until about October 2nd. During that time I will be going on our eight day honeymoon to Disneyworld which is the subject of today’s blog entry. I have only been to Disney once and I was about twenty-one years old. I was in college and three of my friends and I (hi Tina, Lauren, and Ellen!) drove there for spring break. We stayed at a Red Roof Inn somewhere off the Disney property and endured the very long ride both ways. We were young and relatively broke but none of that mattered. We had a great time.

A lot has changed since that Spring Break trip all those years ago. There are new attractions at Disney; a whole new park even as Animal Kingdom was not built back in the early 1990’s. New resorts, new restaurants; a whole different experience probably. A lot has changed for me since then as well. I’m twenty years older and let’s face it, not in the best of health.

Traveling for me is difficult. Since I got sick in early 2008, I have only flown once and it was for a two day trip to Ohio; about a two hour trek. I ended up in the hospital within two weeks of coming home. The rest have been car ride getaways. The longest was about five days and that was one time while a few others have been two-four days. I can say that in the last five years I have never taken a trip that has not made a negative impact on my health in some way; some bigger than others. But I plan as well as I can and just take the risk. Life is too short not to.

This trip is a biggie for someone with Sjögren’s. Longer time in the air flying. Have I ever mentioned how dry airplanes are?? Lots of physical activity since it is Disney. Loads of food restrictions to deal with. Heat and sun since it is Florida. Standing in lines. Traveling with a ridiculous amount of medications, supplements, and medical supplies. However I have done quite a few things in preparation for this trip that I think will work to my advantage on this amazing honeymoon that we have planned. They are as follows:

* The single most important thing we did when planning this honeymoon was to not book it for right after our wedding. I was a little concerned that going on our honeymoon four months after our wedding would take some of the magic or fun out of it. Absolutely not. I am extremely excited for this trip. Weddings are exhausting no matter who you are. I am a million times more rested and ready for this trip now than I would have been back in May. We had gone away for a few days to a bed and breakfast in our home state after the wedding but that was MUCH different than this Disney trip. Plus we didn’t do much while we were away in May. My full attention is on the experience we are going to have on this trip rather than reliving all the memories and details of the wedding. I would strongly suggest doing this to any bride and groom, not just to those who have to deal with chronic illness. I was married before and had a honeymoon right away so I do have a basis of comparison. Do it the way I did this time around. It will be better, I promise!

* We booked a hotel on property at Disney. Besides the fact that it is just a cool experience in itself, it cuts down on travel time to and from the Disney parks, attractions, etc. and it saves on having to walk from the parking lot to the parks and back.Staying at a Disney property also makes you eligible to use their luggage service. You check in your luggage at your home airport and you don’t see it again until you get to the room at your resort. Same for the trip home.

* Pre-booked many of our reservations, especially dinner reservations. While this is typically suggested for anyone wanting to eat at Disney, it is also important for someone with food restrictions because it gives the restaurant a heads up as they were told about the restrictions when the reservation was made. We were also careful not to overbook so that we had some flexibility in case I was struggling with my physical issues.

* Got a letter from my rheumatologist stating that it was difficult for me to stand for periods of time and difficult for me to be in direct sunlight or excessive heat. There is something at Disney called the Guest Assistance Card (GAC). The GAC card alerts the cast members of your limitations so that appropriate accommodations can be made. For example, if there is a long line for an attraction, they may have me wait in a shaded area without losing my place in line. You DO NOT need a doctor’s note to obtain a GAC card but I thought it helpful in case they need clarification on what to put on my card as they are not all the same.

* Got a letter from another doctor stating that I need to be allowed to bring prefilled syringes on the plane. I also bought this awesome small, collapsible cooler bag for my carry-on to keep the syringes cool as they need to be refrigerated. It will also be helpful to store my refrigerated eye drops in it.

* I sucked it up and rented a scooter for the week. There is a previous post on this from last week if you’d like to read it. I will be curious to see how much I use it. The scooter gets delivered and picked up right to your hotel.

* Starting what will hopefully be a short course of prednisone in preparation for my trip and during it as well. I am looking forward to it. My rheumatologist felt that I should have been on it five months ago.

* I have never used a scooter before so I went to Target and practiced on one of theirs. That was an excellent idea and I highly suggest it if you rent a scooter for the first time. Better to crash into a display at Target than someone’s leg at Disney!

* There are several grocery stores in Orlando that offer delivery service. I submitted an order with Orlando Grocery Express and it will be delivered the morning we arrive. The great thing is if we are not there, our hotel will keep it for us until we arrive. I did this for several reasons but mostly because I drink an obscene amount of water so I ordered a few cases along with some drinks my husband likes. I ordered some gluten-free snacks and breakfast items as I am not a big breakfast person. I also came up with the idea to order some toiletries, such as shampoo, soap, and face wash, so there is less to pack in the suitcase. Less toiletries equals more room for medical supplies.

* Speaking of, I raided the trial size bins at several local stores. Target has the best selection and amount of trial size items.

* We have one tour at Disney that promised to be challenging for me physically, the Wild Africa Trek at Animal Kingdom. I almost said forget it and then that little voice in me said “go for it, you only live once.” However we booked it for early morning the day after we get there. I didn’t want to wait until later in the week when there might be a chance of feeling more exhausted.

* I did a lot of planning via books and online. You would be amazed at how much is out there in the internet world about traveling to Disney with a disability. A special shout out to my friend Kristen at Sjoggie StAHMer. She has Sjögren’s and has traveled to Disney with her husband and young daughter. She had some excellent advice!

* Booked our honeymoon for one of the least busiest times at Disney. This will mean less crowds and most likely, shorter waiting times.

* Booked airport parking with a company that handles your luggage for you on and off the shuttle bus. I am traveling with someone but he only has so many hands.

So that is pretty much it. I think the most important thing to remember when planning a trip like this is to use whatever means are available to you to protect your health. The more energy you can conserve during the trip, the more likely you are to enjoy it. Those of us who live with any type of autoimmune illness or chronic disease tend to have less opportunities to travel than many people so it is important to make the most out of our trips. Especially honeymoons!

I am thrilled beyond belief and feeling blessed that my husband and I have this opportunity. As excited as I am, I am especially excited about the opportunity to spend EIGHT whole days with my husband. No work, no commitments, no places that we have to be. Eight days with no medical appointments or afternoons on the phone arguing with insurance companies. No bed to make in the morning. No dishes to wash.

Just him and I.
Perfect.

Stepping Outside Of My Comfort Zone

July 28, 2013 / / 2 Comments

On July 3rd, I started a thirty day Kickstarter campaign to try and raise money to self publish my first book, Tales From The Dry Side: The Personal Stories Behind The Autoimmune Illness Sjögren’s Syndrome. You can read more about the Kickstarter campaign on my blog entry: Tales From The Dry Side Kickstarter Project. The long and short of it is that I am trying to raise $7,000 by August 3rd. It is an all or nothing venture which means that I need to raise all of the money or I receive nothing to publish the book. If people want to donate, they go to my Kickstarter website where they pledge whatever dollar amount they want, as little as $1.00, and their credit card is not charged until the deadline and ONLY if all $7,000 is raised. The $7,000 that is raised is used to publish the book and includes a lot of services which you can read about on my Kickstarter page. It also includes fees and the cost of rewards as it works on a rewards system based on your level of donation.

As of right now, July 28th at 6:40pm, $6,075 has been raised and there are five days left. If that seems somewhat incredulous to you, you are in good company. I am sitting here tonight quite amazed myself.

This is the first time I have undertaken a project like this and I have to be honest, I absolutely HATE asking for money. I always have and I always will. And, it will be a very long time, if ever, that I do something like this again because it makes me that uncomfortable. I did not go into this project without doing my homework and exploring other options. I pursued the traditional publishing route for nine months and I couldn’t even get someone to read the manuscript. I considered publishing the book exclusively as an eBook through Smashwords or a service like Amazon Kindle but I feel strongly that this book needs to be accessible to the people who need it most, those with Sjögren’s syndrome. And many of us are disabled or broke from medical bills and do not have the access to that type of technology.

Now there are five days left and I am 86% towards my goal. Anyone can have a Kickstarter campaign but my belief is that it takes a lot of work to have a successful one. I have spent anywhere from three-five hours a day on it. And it has been difficult at times, very difficult. Because of the limited time I have to raise the money, I have felt pressure to push past my own bad physical days to get at least the bare minimum done to make the project successful. Thank you e-mails to contributors, social media promotion, canvasing towns with flyers, newspaper interviews, returning the thirty-fifty e-mails and Facebook messages I have been getting every DAY. The list goes on and on. I have also endured criticism from a few people who feel the need to try and knock me down; complete strangers who think that it is their place to criticize my choice for doing a Kickstarter campaign and promoting that campaign. I think in the social media world they are called “haters”. I will be honest, I have let a few get to me in the past few weeks. I cannot help it. I am a sensitive soul; more so than many people realize.

I have also had to step outside my comfort zone. I am very uncomfortable talking on the telephone with people I do not know extremely well, yet I have given two newspaper interviews over the phone and talked to many other people I do not know at all. I have walked into countless businesses and medical offices with flyers and letters and had to explain what I am trying to accomplish. Excluding my own doctor’s offices, each time I have done that, it has made my heart race and my palms sweat. I have had to learn the ins and outs of the self publishing world as well as the fundraising world, both of which were completely foreign to me until several weeks ago. Because fundraising is typically frowned upon for something like this, I have had many doors slammed in my face both on social media and in the non-social media world; often from the very places that people turn to for resource information about Sjögren’s. Rejection is never easy, especially when you are asking for help on a project whose goal is not to self promote but rather to assist other people.

So in addition to some anxiety and extremely long days, where has stepping outside of my comfort zone gotten me? It has gotten me to a day where I have been able to raise over $6000 and more importantly, be able to spread the word about this illness that has not only taken so much from me, but also given me so much back. It has gotten me to a place where upon coming home in the middle of the night, I stayed up an extra hour last night to read two letters that arrived in my mailbox from complete strangers; each with their own Sjögren’s story to tell. There is something strikingly personal when people reach out to you in that manner.

Stepping outside of my comfort zone has reminded me of the resilience of the human spirit. So many donations that have come in also have come with a story. Sometimes just the stories themselves come. When I had my first Sjögren’s symptoms five years ago, I never imagined that there were so many other people who suffered in such a similar way. People who, until they saw the newspaper interview I did last week, thought they were suffering alone. Every moment of stress and anxiety I have had over the past several weeks is worth it just to know that even one person in this world feels understood and less alone.

Stepping outside my comfort zone by doing this funding project has allowed me to see so much good in my family and friends as well as in complete strangers. So many people are investing their time and energy to support me in this cause; some have Sjögren’s, many do not. I have had the opportunity to hear that my taking on this book and Kickstarter project has encouraged some people with chronic illness to step outside their own comfort zone. To demand better care from their medical providers and in some small way, to start pursuing their own dreams. Because as one woman mentioned to me in an e-mail, being disabled does not equal being non-productive.

No, it certainly does not.

Excerpt From Tales From The Dry Side

July 15, 2013 / / 4 Comments

It is pretty common knowledge by now that I have written a book called Tales From The Dry Side: The Personal Stories Behind The Autoimmune Illness Sjögren’s Syndrome. It is a compilation of thirteen personal stories told by people with Sjögren’s syndrome. I am attempting to self publish the book through a company called Outskirts Press and I am doing a funding campaign through Kickstarter.com in order to get the book published.

Kickstarter works as a rewards system funding platform which means that financial contributors can elect to receive a reward from the author based on their donation level. Rewards start at $25 but the minimum donation is only $1.00. In order to donate you must sign up on Kickstarter and have an Amazon account because Amazon handles the money exchange at the end of the project which in this case is August 3rd at 5:30pm. If you do not have an Amazon account, it is very easy to sign up for one. I have been told by contributors that the entire process takes anywhere from 2-10 minutes depending on whether or not you have an Amazon account. Your credit card (via Amazon) does not get charged unless I raise the entire $7000 by August 3rd. if I do not raise the entire amount, you get charged nothing. You can read more about the book and the Kickstarter campaign on my Kickstarter page by clicking HERE.

To date, 43% of the funds needed have been raised. There are twenty more days to raise the money.

A lot of people have put a lot of hard work into these stories and into trying to get this book published. If you think you might be interested in donating but are not quite sure, the following is an excerpt from chapter 13 of the book entitled “Christine”:

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” ~ Helen Keller

I clearly remember the day it all started. It was the week between Christmas and New Year’s 2008. I tried to get out of bed and all I felt was terrible pain in my ankles and wrists. It was like someone was chiseling through my joints. I had never experienced anything like this pain before and it didn’t make sense because the previous day, I had been fine. I got out of my bed and found it difficult to even move my legs. This was only the beginning of my journey. The journey that changed my life forever.

I tell my doctors that this is when my Sjӧgren’s symptoms started but looking back, I am not so sure that is accurate. I had been plagued for almost a year before this with left hip pain that was finally diagnosed as sacroiliac (SI) joint dysfunction and was permanently relieved by a steroid injection into the SI joint. My ophthalmologist had noticed two years prior that my eyes were starting to become dry and had suggested using eye drops. I blew off this suggestion. What was a little eye dryness anyways? I didn’t even notice it. Oh, what I used to take for granted.

I was thirty-six years old at the time the joint pain started, was married with no children. I owned a home, and worked as a pediatric nurse at a children’s hospital in Connecticut. Up until this point I had a complicated medical history as I was diagnosed and successfully treated for Hodgkin’s lymphoma at twenty-four years old, had undergone a cardiac ablation for a heart arrhythmia at thirty-one, and was also diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden. I also had hypothyroidism. I truly believed that this sudden onset of joint pain was just another issue to be dealt with and resolved.

I sought out medical help right away for the joint pain as I was finding it difficult to walk and use my hands. My primary care doctor at the time worked me up for every possible thing she could think of including celiac disease, Lyme disease, other autoimmune diseases, the list went on and on. Tests and labs came back negative. My pain got worse and on top of it, I started to become more and more tired. Not your typical I didn’t sleep enough tired but rather that body numbing fatigue that makes every activity and movement difficult. I was sent to see other specialists including an endocrinologist and a rheumatologist but nothing could be found. This went on for months and months. Doctor after doctor visit, I would leave in tears and feeling frustrated.

I had a great amount of confidence in the doctor, a physiologist, who had diagnosed and treated my SI joint dysfunction and I sought his help. He decided to do a five day course of steroids (prednisone) and all of a sudden, I was a new person. At this point, as a nurse, I was convinced that I had an autoimmune disorder but I was assured over and over again by several rheumatologists, three of them in all, that I did not, despite my positive response to the steroids.
As time passed, my list of puzzling symptoms increased significantly. Respiratory difficulties landed me in the emergency room or admitted to the hospital. I experienced severe joint pain, numbness and tingling in my legs and hands, voice hoarseness, rashes, chills, severe fatigue, abdominal pain, and ulcers in my nose. Yet no one could tell me what was wrong with me because for the most part, my labs and tests were normal. I also had a relatively recent history of depression and anxiety, now thought to possibly be Sjӧgren’s related, and it was suggested that the root of my problems was psychiatric and not physical. It still saddens me to this day that no one thought it might be the other way around.

 

Tales From the Dry Side: New Book About Sjögren’s Syndrome

June 28, 2013 / / 0 Comments

As many of you know, I have been working on a book called Tales From The Dry Side: The Personal Stories Behind The Autoimmune Illness Sjögren’s Syndrome. The project started in December 2011 because as I was networking and meeting other Sjögren’s patients, it became strikingly clear to me that there was a need for our stories to be told. There were so many similarities in our stories, especially in regards to how long it took most of us to be diagnosed. Some of us still do not have a “formal” diagnosis.

I went through a process of seeking out Sjögren’s patients via in person support groups, a list serve system, through my blog, and via Facebook. Including myself, there are thirteen of us who have contributed to this book. The stories are amazing and compelling. I spent the better part of a year coming up with a structure for the book and editing the contributor’s stories. Keep in mind, every single one of these contributors has an extensive autoimmune illness, sometimes more than one illness, and yet they spent countless hours writing these stories for this book.

Steven Taylor, CEO of The Sjögren’s Syndrome Foundation (SSF) has written the foreword to the book and has agreed to support the book by promoting it via the SSF on their website and at conferences. His agreement to do this will be instrumental in getting this book into the hands of the people who need it most; not just patients, but caregivers and medical professionals as well.

The book is complete and has been for some time. Since October 2012 I have been sending letters and contacting literary agents to represent the book. I have attended a writing conference and met in person with a literary agent. After contacting well over twenty-five agents, I have gotten nowhere. I know this is common in the traditional publishing world however as a Sjögren’s patient with my own limited physical resources, this has been difficult. Also, I feel strongly that this book MUST get into the hands of those who need it ASAP and the traditional publishing process is not conducive to that.

I have made a decision to self publish the book. I have spent countless hours researching the process and different companies. I have poured over self published books to see what I want Tales From The Dry Side to look like. I have made a decision to self publish with Outskirts Press as they produce a quality product and have an excellent reputation in the publishing world. I will be honest, the process seems daunting to me but as you all know, I am highly motivated and this project will succeed.

Self publishing costs money upfront. How much money depends on the quality of product you want and on the services you require. I have a husband who works but I bring in a disability income and my medical expenses are a bit ridiculous. Therefore I am looking for funding to self publish the book.

I have decided to do this through a funding platform called Kickstarter.com. It is a for profit company that is designed to help people finance a variety of creative projects, including books. You can learn more about them by clicking the link above. I am in the process of setting up the project on their website and it is almost done. I also had to set up a business account through Amazon in order to obtain the funds and it will be a few more days until that process is complete. I have learned a lot in the past month!

Kickstarter is not just a site where I ask for money to fund the book. It is a lot of work on my part. There are reward incentives that I offer based on the donation level. Rewards vary from a free copy of the book to my services as a speaker at your event. It makes the process of fundraising interesting and rewarding…literally!

I am looking to raise $7000. OK, listen up because this is important!

I have to raise the entire $7000 in about 30 days or I get NOTHING…NADA…ZILCH!

If I raise $6,950, no book! This is part of Kickstarter’s policy and I have no control over it. They have found that projects are more successful with this condition. Personally, it scares the crap out of me! The Kickstarter page for the book should be up within a week and I will be posting the link everywhere so that people can read more about the book and the funding.

So this is what I am asking for, besides money. I am asking that you share this blog post with anyone and everyone. I am also asking that you be on the look out for the Kickstarter link when I post it and then share THAT with everyone you know. Getting the word out about this will be critical to the success of funding the project. It is especially important that those of you who have a Sjögren’s or autoimmune related blog and/or website share this information. If I raise the $7000, the book will be published…period.

Thank you all again for your continued support.

Much love!

Another Stumble, Another Step

October 21, 2012 / / 6 Comments

I love to write.
In case that wasn’t obvious.

I had the opportunity yesterday to attend a writer’s conference called WriteAngles at Mount Holyoke College in Massachusetts. It was my second time at the conference and I was not disappointed. It is such a high for me to be surrounded by so many writers and readers. I love the energy. I love the opportunity to learn. I love the fact that I get to step outside of the isolation that I sometimes experience as a writer and instead be able to engage with those who share my passion. 

I had a lot of physical challenges facing me going into the conference this year which is partly why I have not been blogging as frequently. My Sjogren’s symptoms kicked into high gear a few weeks ago and this resulted in a significant increase in doctor’s appointments and major changes in medications; not to mention feeling like hell due to pain, fatigue, and issues with my eyes. It has probably been one of the worst flare ups I have experienced in my illness since its onset four years ago.

This wasn’t just an opportunity to attend a writer’s conference though. I also had a ten minute, one on one meeting scheduled with a literary agent at this event yesterday. It was an opportunity I had known about back in December of last year when I started writing my book Tales From The Dry Side: The Personal Stories Behind The Autoimmune Illness Sjogren’s Syndrome. I made sure that I signed up for the conference the day registration opened up in order to ensure one of those coveted agent meeting slots. I spent weeks learning how to write a good query letter. I researched how to do a book proposal in case one was required for my particular book. While sitting in doctor’s waiting rooms over the past few weeks, I would be emailing back and forth with other story contributors for the book in order to get the manuscript complete.

Now I had never been to one of these meeting before, but the impression I got from the person coordinating the meetings and from doing a bit of research online, it seemed like the purpose was to review your query letter, discuss your book and have the opportunity to ask questions. I was not expecting to walk out of that meeting with a literary agent. Not because I don’t have confidence in this book. I do. But because I knew that it was my first time at the rodeo so to speak. This was more of an opportunity to introduce my work and if I was really lucky, maybe spark the agent’s interest. I was expecting to get some valuable feedback about my book and learn something to help me figure out the next step in getting this very important book to the next level.

By the grace of God, my symptoms started to settle down forty-eight hours before the conference. The day before the conference I was by no means back to the physical state I was in a month ago, but I was definitely able to get myself to Mount Holyoke College, which is twenty minutes from my home. I thought I could manage going eight hours without pain medication and then hopefully be able to focus, function, and act intelligently for eight full hours; without a nap or rest period. I would probably require at least several days to recover from the experience. My medical needs had increased over the past two weeks and I meticulously planned my medications, eye drops, inhalers, and water needs (due to extreme dryness from Sjogren’s) around the conference schedule. My writing bag was packed, accompanied by my medical supplements. I had researched my agent. I knew what I was going to say.

I was ready.
I was excited.
Game on.

Thirteen hours before I am to leave my house, it is seven o’clock in the evening and the phone rings. I see the caller ID and the name of the person coordinating the agent meetings flashes at me from the phone, daring for me to answer. I knew. I just knew. I get through the conversation, barely.

The agent I was supposed to meet with was sick and all of his meetings had been cancelled.

Some people would stop reading here and say OK, so what? It was just a ten minute meeting. Send the query letter to another agent. Or maybe he will read the letters at another time and then get in touch with you when he is feeling better. But in those moments following the motion of hanging up the phone, all I could feel was profound disappointment. All I could think of were the hours I had spent in bed, while so sick, writing this book. The obstacles I had overcome to even be able to get to this point with the book. The disappointment I felt over not having the experience of meeting with an agent.

And within minutes, the negative thoughts were gone.

He was sick.
I know about sick.
I know about not having control. This was out of my control. What was in my control was how I was going to handle it.

I changed my mindset. This agent, on this day, was obviously not the path for me or this book right now. I decided to keep faith and move forward. I was still able to go to the conference. I was still going to be able to meet and enjoy the company of other authors and learn more about my craft. I was going to have the opportunity to immerse myself in the literary world that I have come to love so much.

And so that is what I did. I met new people. I learned new things.The speakers were tremendous. I was especially touched by the keynote speakers Maria Luisa Arroyo and Ann Hood. Both of their stories touched me in a way that few ever have. Both made me cry. In both of them, I saw what it was like to have the soul of a writer and how a writer can effectively use their life experiences to make a dramatic impact on the lives of others.

I am sitting in the second morning panel session called Going Beyond the Personal in the Personal Memoir. It is 11:53. I know this because a woman comes into the conference room with a clipboard. She announces that she is looking for the following three people who will, due to a variety of reasons, unexpectedly have an agent’s meeting after all on that day. They are to go upstairs at noon. I sit there and remind myself that there had to be at least ten plus people who had their original meetings cancelled. It will not be me.

She speaks.
I am name number three.

The chain of events that followed after that felt frantic to me. I am not the most spontaneous person in the world. I did not know which agent I was meeting with and she had not had the opportunity to even read my query letter until I sat down in front of her. I remember telling myself to breathe and relax so I could make the most of the experience.

It was a much bigger experience than I imagined. She thought the query was really good and that a publisher would pick up the book. What? My book? We discussed what the next steps would be. Then she is telling me to submit the query letter to her at the agency with a book proposal. Excuse me? I am the one who came here with a cancelled agent’s meeting and now you are requesting a book proposal?

THIS was how it was supposed to unfold.

I don’t know what is going to happen. I may submit the proposal and it will be rejected. I may submit it and it will be accepted. What I do know with absolute certainty is that no matter what, my book and I will travel our path together until we have reached our destination; wherever that may be.



















































































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