For Everything There is a Season

"In order to write about life, first you must live it." ~ Ernest Hemingway

Category: writing (Page 1 of 3)

A Fresh Start To Blogging

December 2, 2020 / / 2 Comments

Welcome to For Everything There Is A Season; formerly known as Thoughts and Ramblings on Life, Love, and Health! This is my first blog post on a new hosting site, so please bear with me. A couple of people have asked me if I had either given up on my blog or given up on migrating my blog off of Blogger.

Earlier this year, Google made a lot of changes which resulted in changes to how Blogger can be used. All of a sudden, my site became unsecured and I, as the administrator of my blog, couldn’t access several functions in Blogger. It was so frustrating!

I did a TON of research and spent many hours with the Google help department, as well as enlisting help from a tech savvy friend, to no avail. I then realized I needed to find a new hosting platform and start over, while meanwhile trying to preserve ten years of blog entries. I explored several different options and decided to enlist the help of the company, Netcrafted.

Scott at Netcrafted was a godsend to me and he did the actual migration from Blogger to WordPress.org because I am so challenged when it comes to computers, programming, etc., that I knew it would end up being a disaster. It was the best decision I could have made. He was very responsive every step of the way and deserves a medal for dealing with me and all of my questions. He also helped me out with a few tasks that we didn’t even agree on when he outlined what the migration would include. If you ever need help with any WordPress issue such as troubleshooting, malware removal, site transfers, or managed cloud hosting, I highly recommend this business.

The migration has been done for a while. However it has been a steep learning curve customizing the website as it is SO different from Blogger. In a few weeks or months, once I figure out how to deal with a lot of the technical aspects, this will be a good thing because there is a lot more I can do with WordPress and honestly, it’s a much better product.

For the migration, I had to make a lot of decisions and the biggest one was which hosting site I would use. I chose shared hosting through Bluehost. That was the second best decision I made in regards to this process. It’s affordable, easy to use, and the customer support has been outstanding.

I was struggling with figuring out how to properly get certain things installed, like analytics, share buttons, and a backup plan. Bluehost has excellent teaching resources, but many times I would go through the steps and get stuck, oftentimes with tasks that involved my control panel, because like I said, I’m challenged when it comes to technology and there were some issues with the temporary domain I was initially working with. The chat support at Bluehost has been invaluable. I’m not exaggerating when I say that one day, when trying to install a back up system for the blog, I was online with the support team for a total of 4 1/2 hours that day, for ONE issue. Even how I type up and design each post is dramatically different and that involves a learning curve as well.

It’s not all challenging though. I’ve been having some fun with the process and I have to say, I am learning a lot. I have always told people, I love writing, but the blogging? Not so much. I suspect that will change as I get more experience using WordPress. For now, I’m happy to successfully get this first blog post up and hopefully the information I have shared may be helpful to other writers and bloggers out there. 

Returning To My Gift

August 16, 2020 / / 9 Comments

It has been almost two and a half years since I’ve written in this blog. It has been the same amount of time since I’ve really written anything, except for Facebook posts and greeting cards. These facts do make me sad.


For those of you who know me, and to inform those of you who don’t, writing had long been my passion. I started writing this blog regularly after becoming ill, losing my job, and going on disability. I had always enjoyed writing, but once I had hours upon hours of free time to fill up, I realized that writing was not only an outlet for me, but a way that I could help others through what I was experiencing and learning in my chronic illness journey.

This blog mostly started off because of my health journey but it became so much more than that, hence why I titled it Thoughts and Ramblings on Life, Love, and Health…a title that I am actually considering changing, but that would make complications for me since the blog title is on my book. The jury is still out on that!

I started this blog in 2010 and was very dedicated to it.The more I wrote about chronic illness and autoimmune disorders, mostly Sjogren’s, the more I heard from other patients about their experiences. It was at that time that I felt moved to get word out into the world about how much Sjogren’s was misunderstood and misdiagnosed. So I spoke with many of the patients I had come to know and their stories gave birth to my first and only book, Tales from the Dry Side: the Personal Stories Behind the Autoimmune Illness Sjogren’s Syndrome.

Several years after the book was published, I stopped writing, completely. People asked me why I wasn’t blogging anymore and I kept telling them I had lost interest. And when I told people this, I meant it. I had absolutely no desire to write or put my thoughts and feelings out into the world anymore.

Deep down, I knew there was more to it than that. For example, my last blog entry before today was a story about my dog, Molly, who was like a child to me and died at the age of 15 years old. Her death, and my post about her death, absolutely wrecked me. 

After her death, I had several painful surgeries, followed by long recoveries and we almost lost one of my stepchildren. Shortly after Molly died, we were in a position where we needed to take in another dog, who was not living in good circumstances, and desperately needed a home. That dog, Foxy, subsequently suffered many serious health issues during a majority of her time with us and ultimately died a short two and a half years after we took her in. 

A relative passed away, my health deteriorated, and I made a major decision to leave a church I had been a longstanding member of and I not only changed churches, but went to another church home that was in most ways, the opposite of where I came from. And, I did this alone, meaning without my husband. I guess in many ways, I felt the need to turn inward, to self protect, and to be in survival mode.

However, not too long ago, there was a week where on three separate occasions, the topic of finding and recognizing my spiritual gifts came up. I think the first time might have been during a sermon at church. We’re in a pandemic. I lose track of a lot of things! The second time was definitely during a church related class that focused on finding and using your spiritual gifts. That grabbed my attention like a lightning bolt. The pastor was talking about worksheets we were given that would help us find our spiritual gifts. Immediately, writing came into my head. While I do believe I have other spiritual gifts given to me by God, that was the one that overtook my brain. and it was in that moment that I realized how much I missed writing and how much I was wasting this God given talent…not because I’m some amazing talented writer who has perfect grammar and what have you, but because I write in a way that makes people think and more importantly, helps people.

The third thing that happened in that span of time was that my therapist asked me during a session why I don’t write anymore. I explained to her about not having the desire to write, etc. But then something in me stirred and I knew I should share with her how I had been feeling about the writing issue. So, I finally did.

Because let’s be honest, it wasn’t about not having the desire to write. My therapist and I had some good conversation about this and all the underlying junk that went with it, a lot of which I mentioned above. She encouraged me to not worry about blogging and just write for myself and eventually I did, in a journal. I found this process helpful in identifying much of what was holding me back: thinking I wasn’t a good enough writer, feeling “less than” compared to other writers, being sick of hearing about, and writing about, Sjogren’s, for so long feeling too vulnerable to put myself out there, and the fact that the person (and hence, writer) that I am now looks quite different compared to the writer I was over two years ago, especially from a spiritual perspective. I was afraid of judgment. There’s this big part of me that wants to write about my faith and Jesus, but I’m so afraid of getting it wrong.

So I spent a lot of time in prayer about all this and I did more journaling…just for myself. I had never written for myself; it was always for other people. What I came to realize is that the gift of writing that I have been given is not for me to ignore or take lightly. It is a gift to be used and shared. I don’t need to beat myself up over the time I didn’t use this gift; it was a season. But now, it’s time to move on to a new season and I hope you will come with me through it.

If you are a reader of my blog, thank you for being here. I do ask for your patience as I found out when I logged in to write this post, that my blogging platform (eBlogger) had completely changed almost everything about the platform. I cannot even find spell check right now. And, when they made the changes, all the formatting got messed up. I guess that means I’m just going to have to work a little harder at it.

Also, thank you to the people who gently kept encouraging me to come back, most especially, my very supportive mother and my ever patient husband. I love you both.

The Manifestation Workshop: On Being Human

February 29, 2016 / / 3 Comments
“If you knew who walked beside you at all times, on the path that you have chosen, you could never experience fear or doubt again.” ~ Wayne Dyer
Photo courtesy of Jennifer Pastiloff

Do you see that photograph above? I didn’t take it, which is obvious because I am the one in the purple shirt right in the middle, but it is one of my all-time favorite photos. It was taken during a retreat I went to in February. To me, this photograph screams support and strength. 

It screams empowerment. 
It screams love.

I waited almost a year and a half to attend this retreat. It was a Jennifer Pastiloff Manifestation Workshop called On Being Human. I first heard about Jen through my dear friend, Tina. A while ago, Tina knew I was looking to submit some of my writing and she thought that Jen’s literary site, The Manifest-Station, would be a good fit for my writing. You can check out the site HERE. So I submitted an essay, it was published, and I started following Jen’s site.

Tina had gone to the On Being Human workshop last year and she couldn’t say enough about it. I guess the best way to describe the workshop is that it is a weekend filled with yoga, writing exercises, music, and self-exploration. It’s about empowerment and connection. When I was considering attending this year’s workshop, I was a little (OK, maybe more than a little) concerned about how I was going to manage the yoga part. However, Jen and Tina both assured me that the yoga is NOT the focus of the workshop. Rather, it is a vehicle Jen uses to help the attendees dig deeper into the self-exploration and writing parts of the workshop.

Even if you stop reading right now, please hear me when I say this: if you can get to one of her workshops, GO!! PLEASE DO NOT LET THE YOGA PART SCARE YOU OFF! I do have some gentle yoga experience, but I know several people in the workshop who had never done yoga, and they were just fine! You can check out Jen’s upcoming workshops HERE.

So, I took a huge leap of faith and decided to go for it.

Honestly, one of the best decisions of my entire life.

And one of the best weekends of my entire life.

No exaggeration.
Despite the fact that I have discussed in depth what transpired over my retreat weekend with a few people, it has been a struggle for me to get it all down in writing. Sometimes experiences are so big and significant in our lives, it becomes a challenge to do them justice with the written word. But, I will try to. Not for my benefit really, but for the rest of you who may benefit from my experience.

The retreat was help at Kripalu in Massachusetts. It was also my first time at Kripalu, but I think I am going to save writing about that for a different day. I’m also not going to describe in detail the exact writing and yoga exercises we did. I did not know going into it exactly what was involved and I’m so glad I didn’t know. I want the same for you. If you attend a Jen Pastiloff workshop, I would like you to go into it with an open heart and an open mind. I think you will be glad you did.

My experience at the On Being Human weekend retreat also included staying in a large dormitory with approximately twenty other women, almost all of whom were attending the same workshop. This was intentionally planned as a lot of the women knew each other from last year’s retreat. This was a VERY difficult decision for me to make. My former insecurities about my health and my body made me self-conscious. Sleep is crucial for me to function. Honestly, I was scared. However in the end, I wanted to share the experience with Tina and financially, it was really the only option as the semi-private and private rooms were MUCH more expensive.

Thank you God I made that decision. Being in the dormitory afforded me the opportunity to socialize and get to know my fellow workshop travelers. We slept in the same room, we ate our meals together and of course, we manifested together in our workshop sessions. All but one were total strangers to me when I got to Kripalu. None are strangers now. As adult women, how often do we get an opportunity like that?

I cannot lie: the workshop experience was intense. Good intense. We had a total of four sessions over the weekend, each lasting between an hour and a half to three hours. I think so anyways. It all went by so fast that I never checked the clock for time. When I was discussing the weekend with my therapist, I told her it was like being in session with her for two and a half straight days, only much more fun. That’s not an exact description, but the best I can come up with at the moment.

So what did I experience?

I delved into the very core of my spirit, or maybe soul is a better word. Now I have spent some time in therapy (I think everyone should) and I think of myself as a self-aware person. My writing gives that away every time. But this was different. This was about shredding the layers of insecurity, self-doubt, self-loathing, and fear that I carry around with me every day. And then doing so with complete strangers. It was about tapping into those parts of me that are good….and strong. I learned truths about myself, some of which I already knew, but many of which I did not. Truths that made me so sad; like the lies I tell myself about how I am not smart enough…or pretty enough…or thin enough…

Or just not good enough.
I learned that I do not need to ever apologize for whom I am or the illness I live with every single day. Through this workshop I came to realize that the beliefs and fears I carry with me are all lies. I was aware of some of this through the work I have been doing with a therapist, but the workshop helped me to finally put so many of those pieces together. I didn’t even fully realize how much I was berating myself with my own toxic thoughts every day, which is interesting because I have spent the past few years ridding my life of OTHER toxic people. But yet, the MOST toxicity resided in my own head.

I learned that it is not up to other people to recognize my achievements or strengths. Why not? Because I can do that for myself. It doesn’t matter whether someone else may think negative thoughts about me or doesn’t like me. I didn’t realize how much time in my head was spent worrying about that. Time and energy that I can use to do good things in the world and for myself.
So why would this workshop be different than say, therapy? I believe therapy is important. At times, it has saved my life…literally. But this kind of workshop is also about human connection; something that I believe as a society we get further and further away from. During the workshop sessions, you have to share…like in front of all the other people…out loud. When you share some of your deepest fears and insecurities with strangers, they are no longer strangers. They are friends. When you let yourself be THAT vulnerable to other human beings, magical things happen. Seriously magical things.

For me, the self exploration was incredibly helpful, but the sharing and listening to other people’s stories and thoughts was epic. People just don’t do that in the regular world anymore. And if they do, it is oftentimes stilted. I cried more during this weekend than I have in a long time. Not just for myself, but for others. It was bewildering for me to see and hear how much that we, as women, beat ourselves up, or don’t see our own self-worth. I thought I was the only one.

There is something about bearing witness to other’s people’s pain, struggles, and fears that elicits a response in me ( and in other participants) that I don’t typically have on a day to day basis. Empathy maybe? I’m not quite sure. What I do know is that it was such a privilege to bear witness to the struggles of other people. So if you are reading this and you were in the workshop, thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your journey.


Human connection is probably the most powerful tool we have in our journey through this world. Deep human connection that is. Before last weekend I used to think that many of the thoughts and feelings I had were unique to me, and not in a good way. I thought I was “different.” So many times, I have been told that I am “overemotional” or “too sensitive.” While I can hold a casual conversation with the best of them, I always crave a deeper connection with people I meet or people already in my life. I am oftentimes disappointed and that led me to believe that I was defective or unusual. At my weekend retreat I realized that not only am I not defective, but I have a gift; that my desire to connect with people on a deeper level, while not for everyone, is not a detriment. I realized that maybe sometimes, it is just a matter of finding the right people to connect with. And letting myself “be seen.”

While I know this whole weekend retreat thing sounds like it was serious work, it wasn’t at all. I went into the weekend from a not-so-good place. I had previously been struggling physically, I had to resign from a new part-time job in January, and I was depressed in a way that I had not been in a very long time. But the retreat brought a lot of laughter and peace to my heart, as well as a dance party or two. And possibly, some wine. It was like my “joy” switch had been turned back on. Quite a relief for me actually. And even though we are all back home, trying to make our way on our day-to-day lives, we remain connected through our private Facebook group. Thank goodness, because I cannot imagine my world without these beautiful, strong, and courageous women.

I was driving home by myself from the retreat and within ten minutes of my drive home, I knew I was coming home a changed person. Well, maybe changed is not the right word. I was the same person, but a much better version…a more peaceful and confident version. A person who will no longer apologize for who I am and a person who is eliminating the work ” should” out of her vocabulary. I truly realized how different I felt when I drove into my driveway and realized that for the entire hour and fifteen minute ride home by myself, I never once turned on the radio. I had no need for the distraction. I was that comfortable being in my own head.

I have now been home for eight days and I have to say, I still have that feel good feeling from my retreat. It doesn’t mean that everything goes right all the time. Hell, this blog alone has taken me two days to do because I have been having so many problems with my blog server. But it does mean that I am walking gentler in this world and with more confidence. I don’t doubt myself and I put my opinion of myself ahead of all others. It does still take daily work on my part: yoga, meditation, staying connected with my Kripalu sisters, and reinforcing what I have learned, whether that be through reading, mantras and/or writing. It’s worth it though. It produces a much more peaceful version of myself.

A happier version.
A version that feels the joy existing in this world.

Thank you Jen Pastiloff and to your assistants, Angela and Melissa, as well. Thank you for finding YOUR path in this world and sharing with us your gifts – a path that brings the rest of us the tools and support we need to do the nitty-gritty work. You are changing this world in a way that not many can do – one person at a time.

Comfort Zone Escape

February 19, 2016 / / 2 Comments

“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go for the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fears of it.” ~ Judy Blume

Today is the day! I leave this afternoon for a weekend retreat at Kripalu with one of my dearest friends. It’s called the Manifestation Workshop: On Being Human (led by Jennifer Pastiloff). Doesn’t that just sound like the perfect retreat?

I have been looking forward to this experience for almost a year and a half now. I’ve NEVER done anything like this. Actually, the reason I didn’t go last year was because I was too afraid my body couldn’t physically handle it; not just the yoga classes, but all that comes with this type of thing.

Does that mean my health is better this year? No, not really. My doctor has me on a course of prednisone, which is helping, but not quite as much as I had hoped. At this point though, I’m going for it and I am going to do the best with where I am at this week.

I will be staying at Kripalu for two nights, in a dormitory, with a bunch of strangers, minus the dear friend of course. We will be attending workshops, doing a lot of yoga, a lot of writing (yay!), and eating together.

So. Outside. My. Comfort. Zone

There is a lot of uncertainty for me regarding this weekend. I may have to climb in and sleep on a top bunk. I don’t know yet what access I will have for certain medical things I need to take care of (i.e. using my humidifier), so I am trying to do extra treatments today before I leave to help cover me until I get back home Sunday afternoon. What I need to pack for myself personally is minimal, but so much to think about medically.

Health issues aside, I’m also going out of my comfort zone just by getting into the car and going off into a new environment. I don’t know about anybody else, but it brings up so many insecurities for me; insecurities that I wish I didn’t still have to face at forty-four years old…

I’ll be fatter than everyone else.
I’ll be an utter failure during the yoga classes.
I’m not strong enough,
Or flexible enough,
Or witty enough,
Or funny enough.

See my problem?

The good news is, those WERE my fears. I’ve been working through them and so today, I’m in a much better place about it all. I’m so excited, I cannot even stand it! Excited for the workshop, to spend time with my girlfriend, to be at Kripalu, and last, but not least, to have someone else preparing and cooking all my healthy meals this weekend!

I’m looking forward to meeting new people and connecting with them and more importantly, myself. Life has been bumpy lately, no doubt about it. I spend a lot of time and energy taking care of my physical body, so it will be nice to have time set aside to take care of all the other stuff. And to be in an environment where everyone else is doing the same thing.

So, I’m going to finish packing and then open my heart and mind to this big daring adventure.

Happy weekend!!

Read “On Being Naked” on The Manifest-Station

February 18, 2015 / / 0 Comments

I have been a writing a lot lately and I thank the Lord for that. I was going through a difficult time with my writing, which started sometime before Tales From the Dry Side was published and lasted right up until about the end of 2014. Part of the reason was due to being so busy in early 2014 with the book and starting a new job back in the nursing field (yay!). I love and am absolutely proud of Tales From the Dry Side, but the marketing that goes into self-publishing a book successfully is astronomical.The other big reason for having a difficult time with my writing was that I was having a hard time connecting with myself and I just couldn’t seem to get it together to make the sentences come as often as I would like.

Some of my blogging, maybe half of it, is writing designed to teach and inform, mostly about Sjögren’s syndrome and autoimmune diseases in general. The rest of it takes the form of a personal essay. If I just wrote personal essays for the rest of my life, that would be fine with me. I may try my hand soon at fiction again; we will see. I may try and publish another book. The jury is still out on that one.

Lately, for reasons that have recently become clear to me, my writing has been more intense, more authentic, and not to sound like a jerk, but good. More like great. Great because I am more willing to share more of my personal experiences and feelings with my readers and at the end of the day, we are all human. We all want to connect and know that someone else feels how we do. Some of the writing never gets published or makes it to my blog; its just for me.

My girlfriend, Tina, is one of those people who connects well with others. I know that if I want to get together and have a chat with a gal pal and have a conversation with some real depth to it, she’s one of my girls. A few months ago, Tina introduced me to a website called The Manifest-Station, founded by Jennifer Pastiloff. Jen is a writer, yoga instructor, and overall great human being. She leads sold out workshops all over the world which you can check out HERE if you’d like. Tina knows how much I am devoted to writing, yoga, and how sensitive a soul I am. The Manifest-Station is a website/blog where sensitive souls, and excellent writers (including Jennifer) share their personal experiences and more importantly, look for the beauty in every day life. Also known as Beauty Hunting.

Tina also called my attention to the fact that The Manifest-Station was accepting essay submissions. I was working on a piece that had to do with body image issues and I thought it would be a good fit for The Manifest-Station. I found out yesterday that the piece was accepted and it was published this morning.A huge thank you to Jennifer Pastiloff and her staff for loving this piece as much as I do. You can read it by clicking on this link:

On Being Naked

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